Holiday Preppers: Theme Boxes

Have any of you started your holiday shopping? My goal every year is to finish by December 1st, and it is a goal that I just achieved for the very first time. In fact, if you've been following along on Instagram, my tree is up and decorated weeks earlier than normal! I am feeling the Christmas spirit early and not fighting it. 

I purchased gifts for 28 individuals, and had a lot of fun doing it, using the below framework for a number of the gift selections.

For any others that want to kick start their holiday shopping, I thought I would share some inspiration around my favourite way to create a gift (if you have asked us to take care of your children after your demise, or you're a blood relative of myself or Philip, maybe stop reading now!). 

The "Box"

I love a cohesive gift. I feel unsettled when gifting things that don't go together. That is why, my favourite type of gift to give is the "box". I love to make a homemade gift basket or box of items that go together and suit the person that I'm gifting to. Some examples of this:

My version of a FabFitFun box: I have given 4 or 5 of my FauxFitFun boxes now. A fall box for my sister-in-law filled with fall decor, snacks & makeup. A Christmas box for my sister including things like Christmas napkins, face masks, and small dishes for entertaining. A box for my brother-in-law with a mug for work, beard grooming gear, and turkish delights. I love to find items on a theme, and these are endlessly fun to put together. Just throw me in a Winners with $60 and I'm ready to go. Philip has pointed out to me the flaw in my ways. FabFitFun provides you with a $50 box worth $200, while my boxes are $60 box worth $60. However, it is extremely fun to think of items that the person will love and see their delight at each one. 

Homemade Subscriptions: One year, Philip gave me the most thoughtful gift that he called a "Book Box". He had purchased 24 books in advance of my birthday, and over the course of the following year I received 2 each month in a special box. They each came with a note from a fake company that was putting these book boxes on, and each month the books went along with a different theme. One month I'd get mystery, another Christian non-fiction, another classics or YA. It was the very best gift. This year we're doing this for a number of people on our list (stop reading now if you might be one of them), with some twists. First of all, it would be way over our budget to do 2 brand new books every month for all of these people. What we decided to do was be creative and we hunted the Children's Hospital Book Sale for previously loved books that we thought our loved ones would enjoy. We created 5 kids book boxes - one for each of our friends families - as well as 2 adult book boxes for Philip's parents. We bought a large roll of brown paper and wrapped each book, writing the month and some clues about the contents on the outside. Each month the kiddos in our lives (and our parents) can dig out their box and find the month, opening to find their next read. I really hope they enjoy it. We also did monthly boxes for Philip's brother & our sister-in-law. His brother will be opening an exciting pair of socks each month and my sister-in-law is going to open an item from "the religion". We call essential oils and other woo-woo things we're into the religion because it really bothers our husbands and makes us laugh. She's getting things like an acupuncture mat for her feet, an essential oils bracelet, eye mask, Himalayan salt ball, volcanic pumice stone, jade therapy stick, etc. Each month she'll open a new treat to enhance her wellness. Like I said, these are insanely fun for me to put together, and I love putting the thought and care into putting together a curated box for someone I love.

Finding a Theme

I am consistently helped with choosing any gift by having a theme in mind. I get annoyed when I pick out random things for a person and they don't go together. Maybe that makes me a little nuts. However, I've found this strategy works well for me. Some examples:

• A colour story. This isn't my top choice for theme, but if you're finding yourself unsure of what to get, it can be helpful to have your gifts look nice together. Not only for presentation, but to narrow your search field. Recently I bought one of our nieces a sequined mermaid cup for by her bed, a night gown, and a bath bomb. That had two themes, it was all in the blue/green under the sea type colour story, as well as having a bit of a bedtime/relaxing theme. When I'm trying to pick out a gift for someone and don't necessarily know what they need/love, it can be helpful to think of a theme and get gifts that fit within it. 
• A type of item. Books, beauty items, kitchen items, travel gear. 
• Homemade. This theme comes into play not when I think of a specific person, but if you're having trouble getting started with Christmas shopping, it can be helpful to think of a group of people and a type of gift that you can get for all of them. For example, one year we decided to make homemade gifts for everyone in my immediate family. It resulted in a wooden garage sign, a Christmas decoration made from a recycled mullion door, a paper mache rhino hanging, and a magnetic scrabble wall frame. It was super fun, narrowed our scope a bit, and gave us a focus to keep going.
• In my extended family, we choose names and there is always a guiding theme so that you know what to get. It can be hard to think of a gift for your uncle without a theme as you may not know what he wants or needs. We'll have a theme such as a gift that is plaid, a gift starting with the letter B, pajamas, or something used/homemade. That helps us to narrow our focus and pick out an item that meets the criteria that we think they'd like. They aren't annoyed they get another pair of pajamas, they already knew it was coming. 

I hope this helps with getting started with shopping this year. Are there other ideas you'd like for Christmas shopping? I'm not an expert, but would love to give book recommendations for gifts or other box recommendations if you're having trouble! Ask in Instagram DMs, Email, Facebook Messenger, or the Comments below and I can always put together another post on Christmas gifting to try to help you brainstorm! 

Favourites: Work from Home Wardrobe Essentials

My favourite part about working from home has to be the dresscode. I try to get dressed every day, not staying in pj's, but that doesn't stop me from throwing on leggings & a cute top or the all-in-one wonder that is a romper. Here are a few favourites from the past year!

I can't stop wearing Old Navy compression leggings. I bought them last spring for our trip to London, so that I could avoid compression socks on the long flight. They are so so comfortable, everything is sucked in, they have cute details like mesh or moto designs, and they go great with any long sweater or tunic style top. I bought 3 pairs and the pair above are my favourite (click on photo for Old Navy link). 

Jumpsuits are my work from home jam. A whole outfit with only one decision. So comfy. Philip hates them, but I think has slowly worn down. The above is from Joe Fresh, as my absolute favourite at Old Navy is no longer available and this looks very similar. I also don't see it online, but in Superstore Joe Fresh locations I've been eyeing a blush jumpsuit with pockets and a white drawstring....it will come home with me one day. 

In case you haven't gathered, I'm a bit addicted to Old Navy. I own two of these jersey swing dresses, and they are so comfortable and look super cute with leggings. My main goal in life is to feel like I'm wearing pajamas but look put together, so this dress, some compression leggings, and a fun lip colour do the job. 

Last but not least, Old Navy & Joe Fresh and any other stores I might shop at are definitely examples of fast fashion. In the name of not creating so much waste (and saving some bucks), I'm a huge fan of Style Encore. My sister-in-law took me the first time and I went in fully planning on being there for moral support, but not buy any used clothing. I quickly bought 9 items and never looked back. There's a location on Nairn here in Winnipeg and it is the best place to find new items for your closet at a discount, and save something from a landfill. The swing dress above, I bought my first at Old Navy, and found a 2nd one at Style Encore in another print for less than half the price of the first. With the holidays coming up, I can't recommend it highly enough as a locale for dresses! We only wear them once or twice in a lot of cases, so you can expect them to be in great shape as they were sold by someone who maybe wore them once for a special occasion. I love getting a dress there for a work event, I often see the same people again and again for these receptions and might not want to wear the same dress each time, this is a budget friendly way to stock up my work dresses and easily donate them when I'm done without feeling guilty about the dollars. Let me know what you find! 

Fall Closing Ceremony: Butternut Squash Soup

Last night we finished Christmas shopping, and I immediately felt the need to celebrate by welcoming in the holiday season. We stopped at Superstore at 9:30 last night and picked up some Christmas ice cream to celebrate our success. Today I debated putting up my decor, but didn't want to rush into it. Instead, I decided to finish fall with a celebration of its own. I spent the afternoon making my last batch of butternut squash soup (I've made 4 batches this fall!) and enjoying the fall feeling before making the switch.

My mom taught me this butternut squash soup recipe earlier this fall when we had a meal prep day together, and I've been making it every couple of weeks since. I have some in my freezer still, but had a butternut squash in the fridge so decided to add even more to the freezer. 

To make this Butternut Squash Soup, you'll need the following:

Equipment

Large Pot or Dutch Oven

Immersion Blender (or another blender will do)

Knife for Chopping

Vegetable Peeler

Cutting Board

Ingredients

1 x Butternut Squash

3 x Large Carrots

1 x Head of Celery

Chicken Stock

Lemon Pepper

Thyme (fresh lemon thyme if you have!)

Olive Oil (or other oil you desire)

Steps

1. Peel & Chop Carrots

I had extra carrots in my fridge and they've been there a while so I put extra carrots in this batch just to use them up - I'm not a soup expert by any means but in my experience it's not a science and you can put in whatever you like. 

2. Chop Head of Celery

I use the whole head, but again, it's not a science and if you want to eat some ants on a log while cooking and are therefore missing a few stalks, that is totally ok. 

3. Optional: Chop 1 Onion

I hate onions and like the taste fine without so you won't see an onion in my soup, but my mom does add one to hers. My mom told me that every soup she makes starts with onion, celery, & carrots - the flavour maker. 

4. Optional: A friend commented on my instastories that she adds an apple to her butternut squash soup! How delicious! Since I was just sharing my original recipe to the blog I kept it the way that I knew tasted great, but next time I will try this!

4. Saute carrots & Celery with Olive Oil

 If you had onions you would just do this until they are translucent. I just cook them a little bit while I'm chopping the rest of the ingredients and don't worry too much about the time.

5. Season

I season my soup with Thyme & Lemon Pepper to taste. I have a Lemon Pepper grinder so I didn't measure, but did a number of grinds, and then tasted it after blending and added more as needed. 

6. Peel, Chop, & Add Butternut Squash

Peel your squash with your vegetable peeler. It has a tough skin, definitely not as easy as a carrot - I'd compare it to peeling a sweet potato. Cut the squash in half and scoop out the seeds. Chop and add to pot with other vegetables. 

7. Add Chicken Stock

Pour chicken stock into pot enough to cover the vegetables. I did mine with water, covering the ingredients, and then added a heaping spoonful of Better than Boullion. 

8. Allow to Cook

Turn down the heat, put on the lid, and allow to soften. Last time I let it go about an hour and then it was plenty soft. This time I set a timer for 30 mins so that I could have a better idea of how long things took to let you know. After 30 mins everything was plenty soft, so I went ahead to the next step. 

9. Blend

An immersion blender is an awesome tool if you make soup regularly. Just place it in the pot, press the button, and watch the soup blend before your eyes. 

10. Eat, or Allow to Cool & Freeze

I love having this soup in my freezer. I pour it into medium ziploc bags and it is enough for Philip & I for dinner, or he can grab a bag to take for his lunch if we don't have other leftovers ready to go. I'm allowing mine to cool a little bit and then I will pour into bags and freeze. 

What are your favourite fall recipes? In addition to this soup, I'd probably say Pumpkin Muffins! 

P.S. If you watched me cook this soup in Instastories, I also mentioned listening to "I am Malala" by Malala Yousafzai. Such a good book so far! I'm halfway through and am so glad I decided to listen to such an important story. It's important to ensure you're paying attention to voices that have different life experiences than you, and this is a great listen for any North American who is trying to understand the perspectives of others. I'm using the Libby app which allows you to borrow audiobooks from your local library, give it a try! (this isn't sponsored, I just love books)

Lazy Geniusing Laundry

First of all, if you don't listen to The Lazy Genius podcast, and have any responsibility for household tasks, small children, or using a stove, go subscribe now. It's one of my favourites and I regularly feel proud of my own "lazy genius"-esque household hacks. I will never be a culinary artist, professional cleaner, or heavenly hostess by any standard. What The Lazy Genius, Kendra Adachi, teaches us is that we can do better without stressing all the time. She is also a great weekly inspiration on Instagram for things like meal planning, finding routines in the various seasons of life, and generally feeling okay about yourself. 

Now, to my own laundry hack that makes me feel like I've mastered one aspect of life. 4 laundry baskets. You heard it here first, all you need are a lot of laundry baskets. 

As a bridal shower gift, we received one of those wheelie laundry sorters that you can use as a hamper. I have never wanted to be a throw all the laundry on the laundry room floor person (although if that's you, no judgement as long as you're happy!), so I appreciated having the laundry sorted right in our own bedroom closet. However, by the time those baskets were full, it was extremely heavy and the bags would eventually start to rip. Smaller loads could have been considered, yes, but it just didn't fit with our life. Also, if we carried the laundry down in the special bag, and then life got in the way of putting things away right away, we'd be left with no place to put our cold colours. 

With the demise of our second wheelie sorter...enter 4 laundry baskets. We bought 4 matching baskets at Ikea, but any baskets will do. We have them on the floor of our closet in a line, and it is the perfect system for us. We typically have 3 loads of laundry that we separate and the 4th bin is there to keep the system going even while we have a basket downstairs with laundry spinning. The baskets are Cold Colours, Cold Whites, & Warm Whites. I don't know if we need to do this much sorting, but it makes for about the right sized loads each week and works for us. Do you sort your laundry? I recently learned that my mom doesn't really sort laundry and at some point I may graduate to that level of lazy genius as well. 

Below is the laundry basket that we selected (click for link to Ikea website for this beauty of a $9 laundry basket). Apparently we break a lot of laundry equipment, because our two previous laundry baskets both had broken handles. We chose this laundry basket because it is 1 piece, so the handle is less likely to separate from the basket portion. Also, it's a happy colour and doesn't have holes so nothing's falling out. I'm really questioning my load sizes right now based on the fact that our wheelie sorters and laundry baskets have broken multiple times. Add that to my laundry method, huge loads so you hardly ever have to do laundry. 

One question that I have for those of you at a different stage of life than we are, is how can we keep this going with kids? I can see how this is a perfect system for us because we keep all of our laundry in one room. What I'm imagining is that they'll have a hamper and every time I throw in one of our loads I would grab their hamper and sort it into our baskets. Would that work?

When it comes to laundry, I keep things very simple. I throw in the load of laundry with a Tide pod and a scoop of OxiClean and walk away. Our cold colours & cold whites go in the dryer on delicate, I hang zero items. Warm whites go on a regular dryer cycle as we don't worry about shrinking. Warm whites used to be hot whites but I recently read an article that warm is good enough and saves energy so I made the change. Laundry is one of my favourite chores because there is a machine that does it for you. I also don't iron. I sound a bit like a slob. I do have a steam drier if an item is in desperate need, but for the most part we get by with the occasional wrinkle. 

I'm not even precious when it comes to folding. The ever elusive fitted sheet? I roughly fold or roll it in my arms and shove it in the matching pillow case with the flat sheet and other pillow case. It is only right now that I'm realizing how lazy I am about laundry. Maybe someday I'll be a bit more particular, but I actually do like my system. I'm not the greatest at cleaning, but this is easy for me to maintain and we always have clean underwear. Share your best laundry tips with me. What can I do to be even lazier? One thing I'm definitely going to introduce asap is a container for the OxiClean so that this picture could have been more palatable. Happy Tuesday! Go do a load of laundry!

Growing Our Family: Adoption

Part 2! After finding out that we couldn't have biological children, we started to research our options. As I mentioned in my past post, we regularly heard "at least you can adopt!" so of course that was one of the options that we looked into first. When you read blog posts, articles, adoption websites as a person who is infertile, you'll often see the sentiment that they don't want you to apply for adoption as a consolation prize. I really took that to heart, and didn't want to jump to adoption and be judged by an adoption worker that we weren't ready to pursue that path and hadn't properly mourned the baby we'd never birth. This made it hard to move forward with an adoption plan too quickly after our fertility journey ended. It makes you think questions that I don't know if you'd ever know the answer to, will I love an adopted child the same as a biological one? Will our families accept them the same way that they do their other grandchildren? How do we know what the right path is? 

Adoption Options is a private agency here in Winnipeg, and one of only a couple of adoption resources available for those in Manitoba. They offer a free information session for anyone looking into this path, and that was our first step. We took our time and as still our friends didn't have kids, we weren't in a rush to pursue an option until we felt peace and confidence moving forward. The information session walks you through the different international and domestic options, the costs, the time frames, and any other questions or concerns that those in the class had. It is a 2 hour evening session, and very helpful. 

Question 1: Why Domestic Adoption vs. International Adoption?
The choice between domestic or international adoption was one of the first choices that we had to make. In attending the information session, we learned that international adoption isn't as often an infant that would be adopted. At this point in our lives, we were fairly young, none of our friends had kids, and we felt more comfortable with an infant as amateur parents. Now I think I feel a little bit differently, but the decision we made then was the right one at the time. Some other reasons were the cost difference, and the ability to know medical and social history of birth parents and for the child to have a relationship with their birth parents should they both be open to that. 

Question 2: How does the application process work?
After the information session, you have an initial interview with someone to do your intake. There is a small fee and you fill in an initial adoption application that helps the provincial government track who has applied for which types of adoption and ensure that no one is applying for babies all over town. The second step is to go to an education seminar. It is a 2 day class going through the ins and outs of applying for an adoption and getting approved, as well as providing an opportunity to meet birth parents and adoptive parents and hear their stories. It was immensely helpful and we left feeling excited and at peace with our decision to continue pursuing adoption. After this, becomes the dreaded Home Study. I say dreaded because I think it's something a lot of us would fear, worrying what they'll think of us, will we pass? It was a wonderful experience. Don't be afraid of it! Our adoption worker was lovely, they aren't judging you at all, just getting an idea for who you are and what your life is like. It consisted of 5 in-person meetings, one of which took place at our home. It also includes a physical at your doctor's office, criminal record check, character references, and putting together all of your application paperwork. Once the home study was complete and application submitted, we were approved on July 10th, 2015. We had our initial interview on February 3rd, so in total it took about 5 months. 

To give a little bit more detail about the application, it is a doozy. You will answer questions that you have never thought of and that are very painful to consider. It's a good marriage exercise to consider what you would do if you adopted a child who has fill-in-the-blank health concern, or birth parents who consumed fill-in-the-blank drug. We have a copy of our application in a binder, and are open to reviewing it with anyone who is curious. Some example questions are would you adopt a child conceived from various criminal acts (prostitution, incest, rape), what percentage of different races would you be willing to accept, when does the birth mother need to know she is pregnant and how many drinks can she consume before she knows and how many after she knows? There is a lot to think about and consider. We had some heartbreaking conversations. We've been told on numerous occasions that our file is very open, which is all we can hope for as it is the part that we can control. It sounds like it wouldn't be that difficult, obviously we want a baby and if we were phoned and asked if we would accept something that we checked no to, we'd likely say yes (in fact that has happened once). However, they ask you to really consider and be closed to anything that if they called you would hesitate and not be excited. They don't want a birth parent to choose you and have you back out. 

In addition to the application of what we'd be willing to accept for our adoption, we filled out a number of documents about ourselves for the birth parents to review. There is a 8 page questionnaire including questions like What goals and expectations do you have for your children? What do you feel are the strongest points in your relationship? If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be? How were children disciplined/punished in your family? We each had to fill out those 8 pages for ourselves. We also provided a 2 page letter to the birth parents, and 4 pages of photos giving a glimpse into our life. 

Even with these three paragraphs I've barely scratched the surface of the application process, so if you are considering this yourself, please feel free to reach out and we'd be happy to get together and show you our binder and answer any questions that we can. 

Question 3: How long is the wait?
In Manitoba through our agency the birth parents choose the adoptive parents. This means there really isn't a set wait time, the very first day you're approved someone could see your file and love you and choose you, or it might take longer. They say approximately 6 months - 6 years. We are of course around 4 years now, which is longer than we expected it would be, but adoption numbers have been significantly lower than they had been historically, with single digit numbers each year, so wait times have increased accordingly. Every year we have an update to our home study where our worker comes to our home and finds out about anything that has happened in our past year and updates our file, at that time she also tells us about activity with our file. We've had basically everyone who comes in look at our file each year. So we're definitely open enough which is great news. All of the couples waiting (I believe there are around 60) are equally deserving, and we can't all be chosen so it is what it is. We've always been encouraged to just be as honest about our life as we can, because you never know what the reason will be that you're chosen. Some of the things about us that a birth parent might think are great - our age, our faith, living in the neighbourhood we live in - could all be reasons why another birth parent might not want to choose us, so we just have to wait for the right birth parent to see our file and feel a connection to our letter and pictures.

Question 4: Wait, the birth parents choose - so is this an open adoption?
At our agency all of the adoptions are open adoptions. A lot of people are leery of this at first without all of the information so I thought I'd shed a bit of light on this. Openness can vary from a photo and update every year, to regularly scheduled visits, etc. Every situation is different depending on the adoptive and birth parents comfort levels and expectations. Our plan is to follow the birth parents lead on this one, from what we've learned lots of adoptive parents who don't have a lot of contact wish they had more, so we are hoping to be as open as possible and do as much as the birth mother/father are comfortable with. Hopefully this will also allow our kiddos to know where they come from, be able to find out medical information should they need it down the road, and have a healthy relationship with their birth parents if possible. Having more people love your kid and be part of their family seems like a great thing!

Question 5: What happens when you're matched?
When we are chosen by a birth mother, we will get a phone call from Adoption Options. That will be quite a day! Most times if I get a 204 call that I don't recognize I think it's them, which can be a roller coaster of feelings. We will have a match meeting where we meet the birth parents and get to know each other better. At this point the decision isn't final, both us and the birth parents will go home and take a few days to think about whether or not we want to proceed. After we've both decided to continue, we'll have another meeting where we go over details of the adoption. At this meeting we sign the initial legal documents, discuss naming the baby, openness agreements, provide a diaper bag for use at the hospital, and go over any medical or other concerns. 

Typically, this meeting would happen within weeks of the birth. We don't expect to have more than  few weeks notice, and could be as little as a few days. We'll have to quickly get ready, but know the possibility of our adoption being reversed (the birth parents changing their mind) so we won't buy a lot of things in case. 

48 hours after the birth, our adoption worker and the birth parents will bring the baby to our home. That will give them an opportunity to tell us anything about the birth, the baby, see our home and where the baby will stay, and continue getting to know each other. There is a 21 day period in which the birth parents can change their mind. During that time, the birth parents can visit the baby and it is recommended that they do so that they can get closure and be sure about their decision. Approximately 12% of birth parents change their mind in the hospital during the 48 hours, and 8% once the baby is placed at their new home. I pray that after this wait, we aren't in a situation where a reversal takes place. 

After the 21 days, the baby will be ours. There is still some legal proceedings to take place, but birth parents can't change their mind after that time period. During that time, it's recommended we keep the baby somewhat to ourselves and keep it on the down low. I'm not great at secrets, so we'll see what we end up doing, but we expect we'd just tell our parents and siblings and potentially some friends. 

Question 6: Are you doing anything else to speed up your chances or pursue any other options? 
The 3rd part of this series is going to be about our other options to consider and what we might do next. That will provide more details on fertility options, other adoption options, etc. The only update I do want to include here, is that this July we also applied for adoption through CFS (child and family services). We went to a free information session there and applied right away. We hadn't realized we were allowed to previously, as you can only have one adoption open at a time typically. For that reason we can't apply for international while our domestic adoption is open. It turns out we can have this CFS adoption open, so we're happy to have done our paperwork and had that submitted. With CFS, things work a little bit differently. With all adoption options, once you are approved, home studies need to be updated every year. As CFS does adoptions for free, and has limited resources, they don't want to do the home study every year so we will only be called to do a home study and have an approved file once we've reached the top of the list of waiting parents. They said that if you're looking for a small child - for example, under 5, they said we'd be waiting likely 3 years to get our home study. We've been waiting 6 months so we don't expect to hear anything from CFS any time soon. Hopefully we will hear from adoption options much before 3 years and have our family begin growing! 

Question 7: How much does this cost?
A domestic adoption at adoption options is around $10,000 with variable legal fees. Costs are distributed about half at the beginning and half after being matched. If an adoption is reversed, we don't get our money back as it has been spent on legal fees that still need to be paid, birth parent counselling, etc. With CFS, the adoption is free. International adoption is significantly more, ranging from $20,000-$60,000+.

Thanks for your patience reading this huge post! Please don't hesitate to let me know if I've missed answering a question you had!

Growing Our Family: Infertility

I've had this post on my mind for a while, and have been trying to figure out what to write/when to write it. It's one of those things when you've waited so long to share that it never feels like the right time. However, I want to share our story to help get the word out about adoption, and to be a resource for those of you who might be looking into adoption yourselves! Bear with me, as I'm an awful blogger and have included exactly zero photos. I just don't have photos of us waiting on an adoption and going to infertility appointments? It took a lot out of me to write these posts and I just didn't have it in me to then try to pretty them up with photos that I try to make sense of in here. Thank you for reading all of this with no pictures!

This post is going to be part of a 3 part series that I post over the next week. We've received a number of questions and I want to provide blog posts that you aren't longer than the novel on your nightstand. We'll cover discovering our infertility, applying for adoption, and the other options that we may consider in the future, among other things. 

So let's start at the beginning. Philip & I were married on August 6th, 2011. We'd always intended to have kids of our own (I'd hoped for 5!) but wanted to wait a couple of years and be just us for a little while. I don't remember exactly when this started, but I felt prompted by God that we should start trying earlier. This sounds a little woo-woo, and I can only think of twice in my life that this has happened. I remember feeling that I couldn't trust if it was God, or my own selfish ambitions, pushing Philip to pull the goalie and see what happens. After months of arguing about it and praying about it, I threw out my birth control on Mother's Day of 2012. At the time it seemed cute and symbolic (though fluke timing as it happened to be the day I would have started my next pill package), but as you can imagine hasn't made for the best Mother's Day's over 7 years that followed. 

We were very hopeful, and had no reason to be concerned. I've always had a very regular monthly schedule, and we weren't fretting very much at all as each month things didn't go our way. None of our friends had kids yet (which is crazy to think about as we now have almost 13 kiddos in our close-knit friend group, and 3 nephews born to our brothers and sisters who weren't even married at this time) so the pressure wasn't on as much as it was later.

When we started trying, we came to the conclusion that we would also move. I had quit my job as I was really not enjoying it, and since we were moving and trying for a baby I didn't find a new one. We decided to move from our condo and buy a home so that we could do some renos before kiddo came along, and get used to some of the maintenance required before we had our hands full with a new human to learn about. We moved in August 2012 into the home we're in now and have slowly been renovating over the past 7 years. I am happy to say that our home is fully renovated now and ready to welcome our baby whenever he or she decides to join us! 

After a year had passed, we decided to go for routine checkups just to make sure everything was ok. That August, I went to my doctor who did blood tests and sent me for a pelvic ultrasound. The worst part of my ordeal was having to pee on command which anyone who knows me knows I can't do. I also remember the ultrasound tech being super harsh with us and telling Philip he wasn't allowed to come in. I don't totally understand why, isn't it kind of up to me if I'm comfortable with him being in this very private appointment or not? Philip went to his doctor, went to the Dynacare to provide his sample (which if anyone is wondering is done in a room that Philip says looks like a bathroom, but with a recliner instead of a toilet....if chairs could talk). To provide a bit of a look into that (which I'm sure you all want lol), you have 30 mins to get your sample to the clinic which is about 30 mins away from our house, so he elected to do it there. You do have the option of delivering it rather than using the creepy room though if this is something you're embarking on and it helps to have an idea of the ins and outs. 

Eventually we ended up going to see an Endocrinologist about Philip's hormone levels. We learned that he had a zero sperm count, so things weren't looking good for us. We experienced numerous delays during that time, the clinic losing our requisitions and blood results, having to redo tests only after calling dozens of times to ask if things were ready, all in all this delayed us learning any diagnosis for about a year. After the endocrinologist did all that he could do, we were referred to Heartland Fertility Clinic here in Winnipeg to see a urologist about a potential biopsy. The idea being, that if they can find a sample through a surgical biopsy, we could use it for IVF. Philip went to the urologist appointment and they basically laughed him out of the room and told us it would be a waste of money. It is still something that we could pursue, but at that point we had been poked and prodded for a year or two and felt like we wanted to take a break from that and move on to something more hopeful. Even if a biopsy was successful which they made us think it wouldn't be, we'd still be looking at a ton of doctor's appointments and procedures with the slim chance of a biological child. The biopsy is about $3000 if I remember correctly, and while the money isn't the only factor, we decided to put a pin in that at the time. 

At this point, we had to look into other options. For anyone going through infertility, I just want you to know that I know how hard it is to make these choices. Often during this time we were told, "at least you can adopt!" "what a wonderful thing to do for a child!" "have you tried this herbal remedy?" "so-and-so had this same thing happen and then got pregnant!" etc. etc. Everyone means well, but choosing to adopt rather than have a biological child is not an easy decision. There are tons of factors to consider, and you want to know that you're excited about it and have mourned the loss of being a parent to a kid that looks like you and your husband. When I think back now at being told "at least you can adopt!" I think, well that's easier said than done because we've been waiting years and years. It isn't as easy as that, and no one will understand the emotions that you're feeling. Even I, who has been through it, I'm sure feels things differently than you will. 

I often count my blessings in this whole thing. First of all, we started trying earlier than we planned, so we got on an adoption list earlier than we otherwise would have. We're definitely one of the younger couples waiting for an adoption. Secondly, we haven't experienced miscarriage. We've had our own heartbreaks over our infertility, but we've never lost a baby and for that I am forever grateful. 

In addition to counting blessings, I fall apart once in a while. I actually hold it together pretty well most of the time, but just last week had an 8 hour crying session about the fact that we just might never have kids. It's ok to be sad, things aren't going our way and it's hard to know what to do next. Writing out these posts will hopefully give our circle an idea of what we're going through and the decisions we're making, as well as provide a glimpse into how all of this works for anyone going through it. If you are going through this, feel free to reach out and ask questions too. No question is too personal, I am an open book and may not think of every question for these posts. 

Next up I'll write about applying for and being approved for adoption, as well as the stats/timeframe/etc. to answer questions that have come through. Thanks for your patience with these long posts, and thank you for your continued prayers as we wait to grow our family. 

8 Years of Marriage

In the past month we've hit a couple of milestones, one being my turning 30 late July, and the 2nd being our 8th wedding anniversary earlier this month! I've been hit a little hard with turning 30, and while it is by no means old and it's just a number, I'm not where I wanted to be at 30. We have been trying to grow our family for 7 years, and I recently made a career change that has been a big adjustment. Seeing a new number at the beginning of my age isn't easy when you aren't where you wanted to be. However, while there are things I wish I would have accomplished by now, I realized that there are a lot of things that we have accomplished in this time that we are so thankful for! I write out 8 blessings below, one for each year of marriage, and hope this will inspire you to count your blessings as well! It's extremely difficult to be sad or anxious while also being grateful, so we'll see how this works!

1. Aunt & Uncle: Being auntie & uncle to our three nephews, and numerous friends kiddos including 5 goddaughters (and one godchild arriving any day!) has been our best role to date. I'm sure any who have hung out with us in the past few years have heard about Joel, Joseph, & Lincoln and we are so blessed to have them as part of our lives and honoured to be an important part of theirs as well. So exciting seeing our goddaughters grow up, with the oldest starting kindergarten this year!

Joel and one of our goddaughters having a stroll. So special to see them interact with each other :).

2. Reading: A few years ago, I made the new years resolution to work towards reading all of the books that we owned. Since then we've both been reading so much more than when we first got married, and have enjoyed it immensely. I've ready 40+ books each of the past 3 years, and probably the biggest hobby we've added since reading so much is buying a ton of books. I'll never catch up at this rate, but it's a good problem to have! I read somewhere that buying books is an entirely different hobby than reading books, and we enjoy both thoroughly. If you're looking to enhance your reading life some things that have helped us: tracking on methods like the Goodreads app, and listening to reading podcasts like What Should I Read Next & From the Front Porch. The Children's Hospital Booksale is coming up next month too so I'm sure we'll be adding to our collection!

The books that I own & read in 2018. Some books not pictured are e-books or books that I borrowed.

3. Trips: In our 8 years we've been fortunate to go on a number of vacations including a few Caribbean cruises, some city vacations to Chicago & LA, Disneyworld & land, and most recently to London for our first European adventure. We have a family vacation planned for winter 2020, and have a long bucket list of travel in the future hopefully! It's hard to pin down a favourite trip, but Chicago is definitely one of my favourite cities to visit and one that we repeat whenever we can. My next bucket list type trip that I'm hoping to go on is Italy, since coming home from London all I can think about is going to a European country with pizza...England disappointed on the food front a little bit so nothing sounds better than old things accompanied by pizza and wine. 

A highlight of our trip to London was the Tower of London tour, and the beautiful Tower Bridge!

4. Living in a Time Where Clothes Feel like Pajamas but Look Cute. This is an embarrassing one because I legit just deleted one about feeling more informed about current issues and replaced it with wearing leggings as pants. My previous item here didn't come across super intelligent, but I will touch on it briefly - I feel much more informed about politics, issues that are important, and feel like a better person than when I first got married. Books & podcasts have been a huge help in this arena and I am so thankful to be more aware of the world around me. Back to leggings. I love rompers, my new business attire is ath-leisure (aka workout clothes you don't exercise in). I love that we live in a world where leggings and a jersey dress looks adorable and feels like PJs. I am thankful forever for this. I hope it never goes away. Also, back to being informed - much easier to be passionate about issues when you are dressed comfortably!

5. Podcasts: I've already mentioned podcasts a couple of times in this post, so you can tell that they are extremely influential. I finally got into podcasts probably about 5 years ago, and listen a majority of most days. I get so many more chores done, learn a lot, and am entertained. Some favourites that I haven't already mentioned: The Popcast, Relevant, That Sounds Fun, The Lazy Genius, 10 Things to Tell You, By the Book, The Simple Show. 

6. Incredible Friend Group: Philip is still best friends with his friends from kindergarten, and I am so thankful for them, their wives, and their kids. I feel so lucky to have married into such a great group of people, and especially want to note what great dads they are, how the wives have become close even though we're adopted in, and the kids are a delight. In addition, we have our bud Ryan who comes for sleepovers and sportscationed with us in the Fall, and a couple from church that we have book club with and have adventures with! So thankful for good friends. 

7. Renos: In our marriage we have renovated 2 kitchens, 2 main levels, and a basement! We are working on our exterior now which I hope to share soon, and am excited to update the blog with some after pictures of projects we worked on during hiatus. 

Our kitchen getting some finishing touches a few years ago.

8. Career Changes. As many of you will know, I had been working for a kitchen manufacturing company here in Winnipeg for the past 8 years. It was an amazing opportunity and I learned so much. I was primarily a design assistant for a majority of that time, but the past 2 years I moved into a corporate role doing training events for dealers, teaching them about the product and how to use the design software. I have since moved into a freelance role doing similar work. I never would have thought that I'd be confident enough to speak in front of people and teach them, let alone do it on my own. Being by myself in business hasn't been easy, so we'll see if I stick with it or not - but it is an exciting adventure at the very least. In regards to Philip's career, he is at a company he loves, as well as working on side projects like a writing project and a number of art pieces (stay tuned as we may sell some soon!). 

Overall, it has been a great 8 years. There have been some curveballs, and I always think of part of our vows where we promised to love what we didn't yet know. We certainly didn't know that we would struggle with infertility, that we'd take some career risks, that we'd move and renovate (although based on my parents, Philip should have had an idea this would happen). However, we've enjoyed the ride most of the time, and I'm excited to see what the next 8 years will bring! 

Our Trip to London

It has been a couple of weeks since we returned from London, as upon return I got sick and then we had a family funeral and house guests so we were quickly whisked away from the wonders of the UK. I did want to take the time to write out what we did, what went well, what didn't, etc. so that it can be helpful to me in the future - and hopefully helpful to you as you plan your own trip to London!

First off, London is amazing. Definitely go. It is beautiful, old, has tons to do, and is absolutely a great spot to go for vacation. There is so much I could share, but I will try to hit the most important things, first off....

Where We Stayed

We are pretty hotwire.ca loyal, and have booked all of our hotels on hotwire since we've been married. We did the same for this trip, and it worked out great. For those that haven't used hotwire before, you don't know the hotel you're booking until you've checked out, but the deals are great. Since we don't know what we're getting, we always put in 4/5 stars, and select some areas that we'd be happy to stay in. If you're quite familiar with the city, you can sometimes figure out the hotel based on amenities and location but that wasn't the case for us in London. We ended up at the Dolphin House Serviced Apartments in Pimlico, City of Westminster. The main reason we ended up there via hotwire was that we chose a budget friendly option, that wasn't a double bed. With London being a big city, and historic, the rooms tend to be quite small and most had only double beds. The serviced apartment was a great deal and had a king bed, kitchenette, and lots of living space.

As far as the hotel goes, it was ok. I wouldn't say it was 5 star luxe, the bed wasn't incredible, but we slept great every night. The main things were the bed wasn't amazing, and there was no AC. However, I think in London AC can be hard to come by, so this wouldn't necessarily have been better at another hotel. They did provide a fan, so we put a table at the foot of our bed with the fan blowing on us all night. The great things about the hotel were the ample space, kitchenette if you want to make some of your own light meals, and there was never any noise or other inconveniences.

Pimlico as a location also turned out totally fine. It was extremely quiet/peaceful, had a tube station a few blocks away, and some cute cafes. It was about a half hour walk to the main tourist areas (Westminster Abbey, Buckingham Palace, etc.), or of course the tube was an easy way to get everywhere. My favourite part was the design of the homes in the area, it was just streets upon streets of white townhouses with black doors and stately columns. So gorgeous to walk around and there was no traffic via cars or foot traffic. It felt safe, there were the occasional people at the tube station that were asking for money and that kind of thing, but otherwise didn't come across anything like that. The picture below was from the street our hotel was on, and all the streets were that colour of homes and just absolutely adorable. Excuse all the selfies in this post, that's what happens when you go on a trip just by yourselves and don't talk to any strangers.

If we came again, depending on cost I may try to get a little closer to the areas I loved - but if it was significantly more I would say Pimlico was plenty convenient to everywhere we wanted to go, and even walking wasn't too far. If I moved closer I'd stick to Westminster, or maybe west closer to Kensington Palace, both those neighbourhoods I found quiet and lovely - as opposed to Piccadilly Circus or one of the areas that gives more of the "Times Square" vibe of being super busy and crazy. I felt much more anxious in those areas than in the historic areas. 

Getting Around

Transportation seemed to be a major theme in my mind as far as what we did well/items to share. Starting of course with a long travel day to get to London, we flew from Winnipeg to Toronto to Halifax to London. Mainly our flights were fine, although no TVs on the flights, not super long layovers for getting a sit down meal, and Philip got sick on our long flight over the ocean so we didn't sleep like we could have. 

The first London transportation that we came across was the Gatwick Express. We arrived in Gatwick airport as we had booked with West Jet and that is where they land as opposed to Heathrow. It's a bit of a trek to downtown from Gatwick, but for those that are unsure - the Gatwick Express was awesome. We had pre-purchased tickets so we just walked right to the platform and got on, it wasn't crowded at all and there was lots of space for luggage and places to sit. The trip was probably about half an hour, and you get your first glimpses of London from the train window. The train drops you at Victoria Station, which was about a 5 min cab ride from our hotel. We could have walked but we had a fair amount of luggage and weren't sure of the area, or we could have taken the underground which would have just been one easy train, but they are fairly crowded so I wouldn't recommend taking the underground with full-sized suitcases in tow - not only would the stairs be a challenge in some stations, but also there is no room for luggage on most of the trains we were on. 

Throughout the rest of the trip we took the underground/tube/subway (whatever you want to call it) for most of our journeys. The underground is only about 3 pounds per ride if you stay in central London, and caps at 10 pounds a day if you use an Oyster card. Comparably, a cab had a minimum 10 pound rate for a ride and we took one cab that cost more than all of our tube rides added together. It is also really fast and easy to use the underground, so we'd highly recommend it. Ahead of your trip, get a visitor Oyster card. You load them with money ahead of time, so that your trips on the tube don't require tickets. When you arrive at the station, you scan your card and get into the station, and then when you arrive at your destination, you scan again as you exit the station. Your card is automatically charged. Just make sure to check your balance occasionally so that you don't run out. We're still working this part out, but you are supposed to be able to get any balance remaining on your card at the end of the trip refunded so you shouldn't need to worry about having too much on the card. We had to mail the cards back to England to get refunded, so just waiting for that process to be completed. We didn't have much left on our cards, maybe 10 pounds. One thing that I loved about taking the tube was that you never needed to look at schedules or times to figure out where to go or what to do. There is always a train in our experience, we never had to wait more than 3 mins for a train to arrive. Just get yourself to the station, and head the right direction. Signage is pretty good, so we never had any issue with figuring out where to go. The scariest part is that the doors open for what feels like 10 seconds. If you aren't right by the door when they open, don't even bother. You can't be courteous and let people off before you get on, or you aren't getting on. Just get in there and find somewhere to sit or stand. It's also good to make a plan for if someone gets left behind. We didn't end up being separated, but there were some close calls for sure. We made the plan that if someone got on the train and the other person was left on the platform, get off at the next station and wait for the left behind person to arrive in a few mins on the next train. If one of us was left on the train and the other was able to get off, the one on the train would get off at the next station and head back the other direction to where we were getting off. Both of these situations almost happened to us, because I am not exaggerating when I say the doors were open for very little time, and the trains are very crowded at times so it can be hard to get to the door.

I mentioned we did take cabs a few times, the only times were to and from Victoria station for the airport train, and to our hotel twice late at night when I wasn't sure about taking the underground so late. For the train, we used the My Taxi UK app. It was very easy to use, comparable to an experience with Lyft or Uber in other cities.

What We Did

Saturday: Walked down the Thames to the heart of Westminster. Saw Trafalgar Square, the Parliament Building, enjoyed St James Park, and toured Westminster Abbey with tickets we had pre-purchased at home.

Sunday: Sunday we had our first taste of Pret a Manger which is on every corner in London it seems. We then took the train to Kings Cross Station to see Platform 9 3/4, and the station itself was gorgeous. Even saw someone propose to someone in a flash mob so that was exciting. Afterwards we walked to Buckingham Palace which was incredibly beautiful. Afterwards we walked through the park to the Churchill War Rooms which was another of our arranged tours. Churchill War Rooms was very interesting, the only downside was at the beginning you see some of the underground rooms where they lived and worked during WW2, and then you're in a museum about Churchill and you think that's all so you are really soaking it all in. Then, they announced 30 mins left and there are still 16 rooms, so everyone had to rush to see the last of the underground areas - so just pace your time if you go so you can see everything. Can always go back to the museum a bit if you wanted after the rooms are done.

Monday: This day we went to the British Museum, one of many free museums in London. The architecture is amazing at the museum, and it's in a nice area with bookstores and cute cafes. The only recommendation I would give is to maybe have an exhibit in mind that you are very excited about, because it is huge and overwhelming. With sore feet going in already, we were quickly tired out and seeing rooms upon rooms of antiquities got old fast. They have an amazing collection, but I think we would have enjoyed it more had we gone in with one exhibit we wanted to see thoroughly and then maybe leave. It was impossible to take it all in so it felt quite daunting. Afterwards we went to a number of bookstores, including Hatchards which was opened in 1797 and was 5 stories of beautiful books. Lastly, we kept up our vacation tradition of going to a nice movie theatre. We went to the Odeon Luxe Leicester Square and sat in a theatre that seats 800. The seats were all priced based on their location in the theatre, so there were about 10 of us in the theatre seeing Men in Black (not good PS) but we were all spread out. We sat in the nosebleeds because the close seats were 40 pounds each.

Tuesday: We spent 5 hours at the Tower of London on Tuesday. It was probably our favourite tour that we went on during our trip. It was incredibly moving to see inscriptions made by prisoners hundreds of years ago, the crown jewels, and buildings built in 1050.

  

Wednesday: Our main activity Wednesday was Harry Potter and the Cursed Child. We saw both parts on the Wednesday with the first at 2 pm, and the 2nd at 7 pm, dinner break in between. Overall about 5 hours of Harry Potter play! It was definitely worth doing, and I think we would have regretted it if we hadn't gone, but it was super expensive and could have used a musical number!

Thursday: Our last day in London! It was probably one of my favourite days. We went for a super long walk to Hyde Park, about an hour there, then through the park, and eventually to Kensington Palace. The parks downtown London are amazing, and we took our time as we didn't have anything scheduled. We walked the paths, saw the monuments, enjoyed the scenery in London for our final day. When we got to Kensington Palace, we found we had time for a tour so we went in and got tickets for the last time of the day. It was very cool to be in the house where tons of royals have and do still live, and even the room where Queen Victoria was born. It was also interesting to learn about Queen Victoria and how she became queen so young even though those responsible for her tried to get in the way, and when her husband died (also her first cousin) she wore black forever afterwards and really took a step back from royal duties. Definitely would recommend a visit.

Hopefully this covers off the trip fairly well! It was an unforgettable trip, mainly just seeing how old things are compared to Canada. I hope we'll be able to go back someday, but hard to imagine as there is so much world to see! While there, we decided we'd love our next trip to Europe to be Italy someday (way better food than mashy peas). Now have to go make some bucks so we can make that happen! If any are planning a trip to London, feel free to get in touch I'd love to share any tips!